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About Traditional Art / Hobbyist Official Beta Tester Pat MaloneyMale/United States Groups :iconsupahfeets: SupahFeets
Grimmcat FC
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Deviant for 11 Years
3 Month Core Membership
Statistics 2,385 Deviations 52,334 Comments 184,790 Pageviews

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Super Saiyan God Goku vs. Toppo :iconkinggigasmon:Kinggigasmon 3 0 Ralph Hinkley :iconkinggigasmon:Kinggigasmon 4 6 Jenna 2017 Design :iconkinggigasmon:Kinggigasmon 6 13 Santa Khan :iconkinggigasmon:Kinggigasmon 4 5 Shuma vs. Jeanie SAF :iconkinggigasmon:Kinggigasmon 1 6 Solaire for Emzie :iconkinggigasmon:Kinggigasmon 5 9 Beacon for Connall :iconkinggigasmon:Kinggigasmon 5 5 Sour Agate Hugs :iconkinggigasmon:Kinggigasmon 5 6 2017 Mustang GT for Jonou :iconkinggigasmon:Kinggigasmon 1 2 Yaelsuf Mistletoe :iconkinggigasmon:Kinggigasmon 5 4 Aki of the Jungle and Jungle Princess Kaori :iconkinggigasmon:Kinggigasmon 8 4 CutiePop Mistletoe :iconkinggigasmon:Kinggigasmon 4 2 Sasha in Fancy Dress :iconkinggigasmon:Kinggigasmon 3 2 OTDE-Sweater Swim :iconkinggigasmon:Kinggigasmon 5 2 HL-Sweet Henrietta :iconkinggigasmon:Kinggigasmon 2 4 RAIN-Prom Night :iconkinggigasmon:Kinggigasmon 11 13

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Critiques


I'm not afraid. I like Muslims. And I haven't met many Sikhs but I bet I'd like them, too. We're not all like that. I like to think our...


I love the way you did the dress! The ruffles in the dress are gorgeous, and the way the dress flows as she sits down is beautifully dr...

by Zeeksie

The design of this is superb, to say the least! The form is like something you'd see in a prehistoric sea creature, but at the same tim...

by Snowify

This is an excellent gift, from what I can tell. As usual, you have created something cute and amazing at once! I think the perspective...

Activity


Is anyone else having trouble submitting stuff?
I'm gonna do a journal about how I've been doing. I haven't been that good, but whatevs. I can't really complain. I'll address those of you still waiting on me sending the artwork I've recently put into storage. I have a reason for not sending it. I think it's reasonable, but you might not.
I'm listening to "Roundabout" by Yes all the time now. JJBA has invaded my life like a Trojan. Horse AND condom.

deviantID

Kinggigasmon
Pat Maloney
Artist | Hobbyist | Traditional Art
United States
I'm an aspiring comic artist, striving to improve one drawing at a time.

Current Residence: Massachusetts, USA
Favourite genre of music: Rock
Interests

The Big Reason For My Summer Depression

Journal Entry: Mon Aug 22, 2016, 10:27 PM
COMMISSIONS: CLOSED kinggigasmon.deviantart.com/jo…
REQUESTS:CLOSED
TRADES:
CLOSED

I feel like it’s time to talk about one of the things that has contributed to my depression this summer. A lot of people who read this won’t really get it, but one person might and it probably won’t change anything.

A while back, I got watched by a person (who for reasons of privacy won’t be named, and because none of this is their fault) who told me that I was a favorite artist of theirs and had inspired them to pursue art seriously. Now, I have to tell you that stroked my ego a great deal. The person in question commented frequently on my deviations and was always very supportive of me in my times of depression or when I wasn’t submitting that much. And the thing was I had never met them. They were a faceless person online. But because of their help for me, I tried to be nurturing and supportive of their art, which really shows promise and creativity.

A few months ago, I was going out of state for a good friend’s wedding, and when I posted a journal about my upcoming trip, the deviant in question casually commented that the place I was going for the wedding was in their home state. I was surprised, thinking, “Wow, small world!” I wrote back asking whereabouts they were in that state, not really thinking anything about it and not seriously thinking I would meet them just to say ‘hi’. I can’t recall after all this time what they wrote back exactly, but it was something along the lines of, “Uh-uh-uh! Bad bad bad! No giving away personal information!” That’s not it exactly, but to the same effect.

It was like a knife right in my chest when they wrote that. The mocking, scolding tone made me feel like a child. It opened up a lot of emotional scars for me, things I don’t really want to get into now. In short, I felt embarrassed, ashamed and guilty. I immediately deleted the journal and retreated into myself, not wanting to acknowledge that person’s existence because I feared being scolded again. This was in the back of my mind the whole time I was in town for the wedding, even though I had a great time.

When I came back, my instinct was to draw a fanart picture for them as a way of atoning for what I did. I got a message from the person saying how much they loved it and how emotional it made them. I ignored the message. I didn’t want their praise. I didn’t want their appreciation. I wanted to atone for my sin and be left alone. I decided, subconsciously, to not respond to their comments on any of my future work. I didn’t want to flat out express my feelings by blocking them, but decided to go the passive aggressive route and snub their comments, no matter how kind. In between their comment in the journal and when I did the fanart, they noted me saying they hoped I wasn’t offended by their refusal to not give away their location and pleasantly, and logically reiterated it.

What really makes this whole thing painful is that it is an overreaction from me, and I know it. They didn’t do ANYTHING wrong, and they didn’t mean for me to be hurt. They had no idea what would go on in my brain, what my emotions would make me do. It was something beyond their knowledge and control, and their response was perfectly reasonable. I KNOW this, and I can’t make myself forgive them. My own mind won’t let me bury the hatchet, swallow my pride and say I’m sorry.

And worse, I think that after a couple of months of snubbing them and replying to everyone else but them has gotten the message across. They haven’t commented on anything, even things they’ve commented a bunch of times on for encouragement. They know I’m a jerk and I’m positive I’ve burned the bridge between us. I’ve tossed aside someone who supported me when I was at my worst for something that wasn’t their fault, and I can’t bring myself to be the bigger man.

FAVORITE DEVIANTS: (in no particular order)

:iconjbwarner86::iconjocelynsamara::iconkawaiiyusra::iconslb-creations::iconruneechan::iconscottmcarthur8::iconglee-chan::iconsashamya::iconemzietowers:
  • Reading: Bleach-Final Chapter (686)
  • Watching: One Punch Man
  • Drinking: Pepsi

Friends

Comments


Add a Comment:
 
:iconluhyzi:
Luhyzi Featured By Owner Apr 14, 2017
If I may be slowed to ask, what happened to all your old kissing pictures? Did you delete them or something?
Reply
:iconkinggigasmon:
Kinggigasmon Featured By Owner Apr 14, 2017  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
No, I actually put them into storage. I will address it in an upcoming journal.
Reply
:iconrobotnikholmes:
RobotnikHolmes Featured By Owner Apr 14, 2017
Liking the new icon, dude. :)
Reply
:iconon2xsecretprobation:
On2XSecretProbation Featured By Owner Apr 11, 2017  Hobbyist Writer
Hey! Digging the new icon, buddy! How are things going?
Reply
:iconkinggigasmon:
Kinggigasmon Featured By Owner Apr 11, 2017  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
I'm going to do a journal about that soon. In a nutshell, frustrated but okay. Thanks, bro. :)
Reply
:iconon2xsecretprobation:
On2XSecretProbation Featured By Owner Apr 12, 2017  Hobbyist Writer
I hear you there...it is a frustrating time all around. I'm fishing around for work and all I keep coming up with is either nothing or old boots and tires.
Reply
:iconimfamouse:
ImfamousE Featured By Owner Apr 11, 2017  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
Hey there, i'm hosting an old art jam that I hosted back in 2014 and I was wondering if you want to be a part of it either by entering it or just spreading the word about it for me...

Check it out :D

imfamouse.deviantart.com/journ…
Reply
:iconmiiversian:
Miiversian Featured By Owner Jan 21, 2017  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
Hey, Pat, I know it has been a while since last we spoke, but J just wanted to drop by to say hello and ask how things have been going for you this past winter! 

Be sure to give me a buzz and chat if ever you have need of me! :D
Reply
:iconkinggigasmon:
Kinggigasmon Featured By Owner Feb 23, 2017  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
Sorry for the late reply. I've been doing okay. How about you?
Reply
:iconmiiversian:
Miiversian Featured By Owner Feb 23, 2017  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
Oh, I've been managing things quite well for the most part. I'm just kind of going through the motions at the moment as my coursework eats up most of my time these days.
Reply
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